An Announcement

Goetsch 2016

I hereby declare my candidacy for President of the United States.  Goetsch 2016 – as good as everyone else! You, my faithful readers, are the first to know.  The official press conference is today at 3 PM EST.

My qualifications for the job are obvious – just ask the Goerkles.  While I may not have performed brain surgery, I have also never plunged from multi-millionaire to bankrupt.  Not even once.  Nor have I taken a formerly profitable company and driven its stock into the ground.  I have no experience in governing, but no matter.  I have hubris.  All shall be well, friends.  All shall be well.

I am currently taking applications for campaign staff as well as platform suggestions.  Please submit your recommendations in the comments section below.

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