Brawls, big projects, and bad smells (Or our summer)

Our lazy, lovely summer has come to an end. While it was a hard one for our country, it was a rich one for my family. We enjoyed days full of sunscreen and sweat, painters tape and play, grandparents and good friends. Would you indulge me as I do a numeric recap? Let’s not launch into weighty topics just yet.

Exact number of days we had off from school: 80

Hours spent watching the Olympics: 25

Hours spent discussing why Michael Phelps would name his son Boomer: 5

Hours one child spent “supervising” our neighbor’s front walkway project while he snuck math problems into the conversation: 10

Times the kids stole my phone: 27

Times my phone informed me its memory was full because of videos they made: 27

Times Rick said, “Please shut the door. The A/C is on!”: 240

Times I asked, “Did you change your underwear?”: 80

Times they had changed their underwear: 0

Times the “craft area” I set up got used: 2

Times the “playing school area” the girls asked for got used: 0

Pictures taken of our cat: 90

Pictures taken of our cat in a box: 60

Pictures taken of our cat asleep: 30

Short bike trips: 54

Pools swum in: 6

Lakes swum in: 2

Boats paddled and sailed: 4

Rocks taken from beach to “keep”: 34 (Why? Why??)

Old friends hosted/visited: 23

Ways old friends blessed my heart: 500

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Breakfasts before 10 AM (not including Rick’s): 5

Cups of coffee drunk by me: 185

Dinners eaten outside: 75

Times I threatened to throw out all the food in the fridge because of one mysterious rotten smell that I could not find the source of: 12 (what can I say? It’s an affliction.)

Midwestern states visited: 4

Times I handed my kids $5 and sent them to get me coffee: 30 (all in my dreams)

Beloved family cars that met their end: 1

Days between the death of old car (named Morrison Borrison) and purchase of new car (Yevgeny Borisovich): 21

Times I stalled out on public streets while driving borrowed stick shift car: 16

Pints of fruit and vegetables picked: 10 at our house, 90 at my in-laws’

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Bowls of ice cream eaten: 40 (conservatively)

Brawls over Legos: 17

Times Legos were taken away for a week: 1

Times Rick regretted having to work from home (when his office air conditioner was broken): 65

Imaginative scenarios created: 16 (these included three doctors offices, “Camp Goetsch,” a spa, a spa parking lot, a boutique, three roller coasters, a restaurant, etc.)